


i want you right here

by melendairefantasies



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melendairefantasies/pseuds/melendairefantasies
Summary: Neil knocks Claire up, but they haven’t had sex since. They’re both so turned on, but Claire’s insecure and Neil’s worried about hurting the baby.
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 11
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [B_I_A02](https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_I_A02/gifts), [Peraltiager99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peraltiager99/gifts).



> I want auroras and sad prose  
> I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet  
> 'Cause I haven't moved in years  
> And I want you right here
> 
> \- the lakes, taylor swift

“Fuck,” she whispered, and he hadn’t even done anything besides kissing her, but she was so incredibly grateful that he was alive, that he was there, and that he was willing to spend his life with her, despite how difficult she could be. She pushed him onto the nearest chair or couch, whatever, and climbed into his lap, her hands in the back of his neck keeping him in place for her kisses. Not that she needed to keep him in place for anything - he went willingly.

They hadn’t had sex nearly as much as she would have liked, but what with the promotion and her growing belly that was quickly making her feel awkward and uncomfortable, she had not had any appetite for it except an occasional blowjob, which she guessed could be enough for him. (She knew that him going down on her was way out of the question because it brought too many risks for the baby. That diminished any semblance of her appetite for sex even more because the only way she would get him now was by actual intercourse, and as the months progressed, her body hurt more and more with the idea).

But this time, it was different. She still felt uneasy, her massive belly and disappearing waistline making her feel anything but sexy, but she did need him, and she hoped he could see past her swollen physique - perhaps he could take her from behind, that way, he didn’t have to see much of her belly.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked her, knowing and understanding of her reluctance to engage in any sexual actions, and not wanting to push her further than she wanted to go. She simply ripped open his shirt, sending buttons flying, and that was enough answer for him. His hand cupped her ass, like the rest of her body swollen beyond belief, but maybe that was the best place to swell, aside from her-

He buried his face between her breasts, and she felt the warmth of his breath through the fabric of her shirt. Off, it needed to go off, and as though he had read her mind, his fingers hooked around the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She has left in her not so sexy maternity bra (which would also double as a nursing bra in the future, but the thought scared her a little to think about it for too long), but his eyes focused on her breasts and she saw nothing but lust and passion in those clear brown eyes.

She pushed off his lap and started to work on her black sweats, and she saw he tried to push his own pants off, but not managing he instead focused on her undressing.

“Don’t look,” she stated, wiggling out of her sweats in an ungraceful manner, and realized that he did often help her get undressed in this stage of her pregnancy, in a non-sexual way. When she was standing there in just her underwear, she looked at him again, and he was staring. She quickly felt uncomfortable under his gaze and stepped closer to kiss him and get his mind off staring at her.

“Why can’t I look?”

“Because I’m fat and anything but sexy.”

She kissed him again, and his hands came up to rest on her hips, his fingers toying with the waistline of her panties. She nearly climbed into his lap again before she realized she wasn’t naked yet and needed to be naked before they could take this further. She wasn’t as mobile as she wanted to be.

“Are you kidding me?” he asked her as she stepped away.

“Yeah, I need to be naked.” She reached for the hook of her bra and that was when he jumped up, stepping right in front of her and undoing it himself. He threw the garment to the side, not caring where it landed.

“You really think you’re not sexy?”

“Well, duh, look at me.”

He raised an eyebrow and looked down at her, and she felt the need to cover up again, regretting getting rid of her bra. Dammit, this wasn’t their first time, far from it, but it had been so long and he hadn’t seen her naked body this pregnant before.

“I’m looking right now.” She rolled her eyes but she wasn’t convinced, until he took her hand and put it right on his cock - his cock, which was unbelievably hard already, and they had hardly touched at all. “Claire, you’re unbelievably sexy. Especially now.”

He leaned down and kissed her, and she moaned, damn he felt so good, and he thought _she was sexy? How was that possible? She was basically a whale and she was only in her second trimester._

She guessed he could sense that she needed a little more convincing, as though his hard cock wasn’t enough proof. His hands hovered over her breasts, but just before he touched them, he went for her hips instead, knowing how sensitive her breasts were these days.

“You have gone up a cup or two,” he whispered in her ear, “and it kills me that they look so touchable but I can’t. Touch. Them. And you feel so good now, on the inside, you already did but even more now that you’re pregnant. I don’t know how to explain it… you just do. And your belly makes me feel things… that’s my baby in there. You’re carrying my child. I can’t think of anything sexier than that.”

And she attacked his lips, not even slowing down when he gasped against hers and wrapped his arms tightly around her, for as much as that was possible with her belly in the way. Normally, she would be able to feel his erection against her hip by now, but this belly kept her from that pleasure, so instead, she cupped him again through his boxers, eliciting another gasp from him.

They quickly picked up where they had left off minutes ago before she had started to get them naked, and she pushed him back in the chair, but that was when he reached out an arm and kept her from slipping into his lap.

“Wait.”

She groaned and tried to push back into his arms.

“Before I ravish you here on the floor, you need to be comfortable.”

He got up from the chair and took her hand to lead her to their bed, “Just fuck me already,” she proclaimed, but he wouldn’t listen to her - instead, he helped her lie down on her side and used some pillows to support her belly, and then, it was lonely for a while, and her belly didn’t allow her to lean up and look at what he was doing. Then, when she was about to get up altogether, she felt him settling down behind her, one arm wrapping around her to pull her flush against him, and his hard cock pressed against her ass made her shiver with anticipation.

“Are you alright? Not too cold?”

“If you don’t shove that cock inside me right now, I swear I will-”

Of course, he shut her up by doing exactly what she had asked him, and it sent a wave of pleasure all throughout her body. She let out a gasp and searched for his hands, his arms, anything of him to hold onto. He angled both their hips so he could penetrate her deeper, and damn, she had felt amazing sex with him before, but every single time he just seemed to show her that there was still room for improvement.

“Claire,” he breathed into her ear, and she shivered again, loved to hear what their lovemaking was doing to him, how he was losing his mind, how turned on he was. Even now, in her swollen, pregnant state, he still wanted to have sex with her, still thought she was sexy, and it simply blew her mind. How could he love her so much, that he was willing to accept every part of her, body and soul, to accept her even when she was fat and grumpy and a bitch, to still deem her worthy of his love?

“You feel so good.”

“Neil, please… harder…”

She knew this position didn’t allow for rough sex, and maybe that was the point, because she knew he wouldn’t want to hurt her, and she guessed he was afraid that she would refuse to have sex with him for a while again if he went too fast and hard too soon. But laying here, his warm, firm body pressed against her back, his strong arms wrapped around her and his hard, exquisite cock deep inside her, she wondered how she had gone for so long without having him.

She wouldn’t refuse him, ever again.

His hand ran down her sides to her left knee, and pulled a little, to spread her legs, and when he pulled out almost entirely only to thrust back in, she saw stars behind her closed eyelids, and while in the past, even with him, she wanted to take control… now, all she wanted was for him to bring her to release, take her hard, show her how much he loved her.

“Neil, I-" She almost said it, she really did, but just as she started to think about the mere fact that she had, his fingers on her clit pushed her over the edge, and she was damn sure she had passed out because when she refocused, she heard his calm voice call to her.

“Claire?”

“Don't stop,” she gasped, returning to her senses again when his cock twitched inside her.

She was way more sensitive during her pregnancy, and he took full advantage of that, much to her pleasure - he could easily send her over the edge three times before he even came close, but he knew when to show her mercy and he knew this was one of these moments. His fingers worked on her clit a little faster than before, and it bordered on painful with how sensitive she was, but it turned out to be his kisses in her neck that made her climax again, pulling him with her.

He was still panting in her ear and it made her smile - to think she had been the cause of his exertion, even if she had only lain there and received his love, it warmed her heart in a way it totally shouldn't.

“I can't believe,” he breathed, “you think you're not sexy.”

“You're still on that?”

“Well, yeah. We both look at you,” another pause to catch his breath, “in a completely different way.”

“I guess so.”

“Hmm.”

Maybe before her pregnancy, she could have agreed she was possibly sexy. She had worked hard to get the body she had once had, but she knew, she might never get that body back. So really, Neil definitely needed to accept her like she was, what she was soon becoming - a mom. And Claire knew -- moms really were anything but sexy.

“You still out of breath?”

He smiled against the skin in her neck. “I’m an old man, Claire.”

“And somehow you still give off the vibe of being twelve.”

He chuckled and stroked his hands down her arms.

He nuzzled her hair with the tip of his nose, and she sighed in bliss, completely content with falling asleep right here, with his arms around her and his cock still inside her. But of course, he had to do exactly what she didn't want him to do.

He pulled out and placed his hand on her pussy, gently rubbing but not to arouse her, she knew. He had this annoying habit of extremely good aftercare, for a lack of a better word. He always checked up on her, even though he had been mostly gentle with her, but she was pregnant and he saw it as a necessity to make sure she was okay.

It was sweet. Although quite annoying sometimes. But it confirmed the feeling that he would never hurt her, and it made her feel even safer with him than she already had been.

“Are you still sensitive?”

She nodded, her hand quickly covering his, hoping he might want to go for a second round. She wouldn't deny she was still dripping wet. (Although most of it was his seed.)

“I haven't been paying enough attention to you,” he said quietly, his hand moving away underneath hers, but she wouldn't let him. “I've been wanting you so much every single day…”

“It's my fault. I pushed you away.”

“Sure. But I shouldn't allow you to pull that shit. I know you better than that.”

“Hmm."

He got up after a while, leaving a kiss on her shoulder, and she wanted to protest it, but she was too immobile and tired to keep him from leaving.

She settled against the pillow and sighed almost wistfully, never knowing she could be pining for her man so much, and perhaps it was the hormones, but she really wanted him to be here again. She felt the baby kick, and it startled her a little like it often did. She put her hand on her belly and really couldn't stop the smile from forming on her lips.

She was so scared. She wasn't cut out for this, she was afraid she would mess up an innocent soul, but she hoped Neil would help with that. She was fucked up beyond belief, but he was everything that was pure in this world, sweet and kind and compassionate. Even when he was fucking her lights out, he still wanted her to be comfortable and warm and he wanted her to feel good.

“Alright, do you want to sleep or take a bath?”

“What?”

“Although I do want to warn, if you go for option two, I can't promise to keep my hands off you.”

She smiled faintly, hearing the longing in his voice. How could she possibly choose to sleep now, knowing that her man was offering to draw her a hot bath and possibly fuck her just the way she wanted him to?

“I figure that'll be option two?”

She smiled at him fully now, as he stepped in her view, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw his erection mighty and proud between his legs like he hadn’t just come and he wasn’t in his forties. She briefly wondered what it was that he had been doing in those minutes of absence but wouldn’t blame him if he had tended to himself for a few moments. He didn’t leave enough room for her to check up on him, every time she wanted to care for him, he would bring her attention elsewhere, and before they knew it, she would be high up on a cloud again.

“God, I love you,” he breathed, reaching out his hands and pulling her up gently. She couldn't help but kiss him as he guided her to the bathroom.

\----

He wouldn't allow her to touch him, even though she felt his obvious arousal against her back. Instead, he was spreading soap suds all over her naked body, kissing her neck, and goddammit, he was so good with his hands. She was such a sucker for him, and she couldn’t believe that she hadn't wanted to be with him for so long. She was certain she would have him until dawn, or until she passed out, whichever came first.

Well. That was if he would do anything other than washing her.

“I can't wait for the baby to be here,” he admitted, his hands around her sensitive breasts completely countering the innocence in his comment.

She was scared, but she wouldn't say that out loud too often. She knew that he was aware of her fears, but since he knew her so well… he wouldn't really bring it up until she did.

“What are you scared of?” he asked her suddenly. Well, she guessed she had underestimated him.

“It's not that I'm scared, I just… okay maybe I'm scared. I don't know what to expect, I don't know if I can do it… I'm just not mom material.”

“Nonsense. Of course, you are.”

“You're just saying that so you can get inside my pants.”

“You're not wrong, but you know I don't need to say anything to do that.”

She felt his smile against her neck, his chest shaking a little as he laughed. Thankfully, it added some friction to his crotch and she shifted in his arms, and she felt his cock spring to life against her back.

“Claire, you're perfect mom material. You're patient and thoughtful and smart. I can't think of anybody better skilled to be a mother to our child.”

“Okay, now you're just exaggerating.”

“It's nothing but the truth, Claire. I hope in time, you’ll see that, too.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, wanting to counter his words once more, but then his hand slid down her stomach under the water, brushed over her clit and skipped right to her pussy, slipping one finger inside, and she arched her back against him, her head on his shoulder. She felt him smile against the side of her head when he kissed her temple, and dammit, he really didn’t need to do much to turn her on.

His thumb rested against her clit, applying just enough pressure to add to the pleasure his fingers were giving her when he added another finger. She would have expected him to maybe rush her into an orgasm so he could get inside her properly if his erection against her back was any indication, yet he took his sweet time, both increasing and decreasing the pressure and speed until she was simply jelly in his arms, tears in the corners of her eyes.

“Please, Neil…” she whimpered, one hand holding onto his wrist to try and get him to speed up, finish her off, she would die if he kept going like this. He seemed to give in because he pulled back his fingers and they resurfaced, his other hand on her hips to steady her. “No, wait.”

His hands reared back, and she guessed he was afraid he had ruined something now, but she just reached for his hands and held them, using them as leverage to turn around in his arms so she was straddling his hips, and as she leaned forward, she kissed his lips. She had trouble reaching him, her belly in the way, but this was better than the alternative.

“I want to look at you,” she whispered, and the corners of his lips turned upwards, and both his hands came up again, one resting in the back of her neck, the other on her hips to try and steady her. She reached between them to grab hold of his cock, and he groaned under her touch, and she teased him a little like he had teased her before, but when his fingers curled almost painfully around her hip, she gave up the act. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, so there was no use in delaying the inevitable.

When she sank down, they both groaned, putting their foreheads together and just breathing for a few moments, giving her time to accommodate him. She took him in all the way until it almost hurt, but she couldn’t let go of him anymore, couldn’t let him leave.

“Claire,” he breathed, his lust and longing visible in his voice, and she grabbed both of his hands to put them on her hips.

“You have to help me a little,” she said quietly, only a little embarrassed to not have the same flexibility that she used to have, but she knew nobody would blame her with this massive belly keeping her from moving around properly. He smiled at her and supported her hips, his legs coming up behind her so she could use them to rest against. Pushing up and down his length once, she realized she also had more leverage like that, and secretly thanked him for his thoughtfulness.

“God,” he panted, and as she looked down at herself for a moment, she was aware she was on full display to him, naked and slightly red and very pregnant, and she felt his cock twitch inside her. “God, I love you.”

No matter how many times he would say those words, she would never get used to them, how it filled all the empty parts inside her heart, how it warmed her bones, made her want to sacrifice anything, even herself, just to let him live.

She loved him so much. And she realized, not for the first time, that she would get to spend the rest of her life with him, she could have him like this in her arms every single day if she wanted to, she would have a child with him soon - he would be with her. He would be by her side, and she couldn’t thank the universe enough for finally giving her what she had always wanted.

His fingers touched her cheek and she startled, realizing she had been zoning out a little. He simply smiled at her and put his hand in the back of her neck.

“Are you alright?”

She hadn't realized that she was crying, and it was apparent when he brushed a tear off her cheek.

“Since when did I get so vanilla?” she deadpanned. He chuckled and it sent some tremors to her core as his cock shook slightly inside her. Damn, why did that feel so good?

“Since this isn't sex. This is making love.”

She was too emotional and honestly too aroused to give an intelligent response, but she guessed her expression still revealed her slight annoyance at his cheesiness.

“No, I'm being serious.” He grabbed one of her hands and placed a kiss on her wrist, and she was certain he could feel her erratic heartbeat there. “I realized this recently… at least for me, it's always mostly been about my pleasure… without even being aware of it, it really was mostly about me in my head. But… it's all about giving and taking, mostly giving… and if it feels right… I want to give more than I take. Apparently. With you… I don't even want anything. Just giving you pleasure, kissing you, and making you feel good, seeing you cum… it's all I'll ever need.”

“Neil…”

He could tell she was close, she knew that - he had this way of getting her closer to orgasm with just words, an occasional thrust of his hips, and just the mere fact that he was here, naked and in love with her.

“Tell me what you need,” he whispered, leaning up a little so they could kiss, and she kept him there with just a hand in the back of his neck, extending their kiss, and she was still just putty in his arms, no matter which angle you looked at it from.

And she realized… she didn’t need anything. Not anymore. Everything she could ever need was right here, him smiling at her, their unborn baby safely tucked away between them. She could do nothing more than just wrapping her arms around him, pulling him as tight to her as he possibly could be, knowing full well that their current position couldn’t really result in any movements in their nether regions, but she knew… she was okay with it.

She had always been a big fan of quick, rough sex, against a wall or in the shower or a quickie from behind, but she realized it had always been just that - sex. She had never had this before, this thing she had with Neil, she had never been taken care of so well, had never had the desire to just be held or kissed. He had changed her life in so many ways. (And sure, quickies were still nice, and with her changing libido sometimes that was the only option, but she loved their lovemaking sessions now, where she could take her time to enjoy him and have him lick every inch of her body. Had she mentioned how good he was with his mouth?)

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips, knowing full well she didn’t throw around that sentence often, and she had only said it a handful of times to him, probably even less. He deserved to hear it much more often, and that was her vow to him, if ever she’d had one.

“I love you,” he replied, his fingers brushing through her damp hair, keeping her close to him - not that she was going anywhere.

He smiled and kissed her again, and it was much later that they finally said something again, still not really moving from their position, although she had leaned mostly against his chest by then to keep the pressure off his back. She was surprised to find her eyelids get a bit heavy, but it was probably due to the warmth his body was radiating and the still slightly warm water of the bathtub that she was getting sleepy.

“Hey,” he whispered gently, getting her attention. “You want to go to bed?”

She pushed off his chest only slightly to look up at him. His cock was still hard inside her, and it almost seemed like both had forgotten at that point. “Don’t you want to finish?”

He chuckled slightly. “Didn’t look like we were finishing anything.”

She had to smile at that and thought of her options, but his arms were just so comfortable, this position was just too nice, she was so warm and satisfied.

“Do you want to finish this?”

“Hmm,” she replied, and she guessed she was probably half asleep already. “Maybe in bed.”

He nodded and brushed her hair a little longer before he was the wiser one and made the first starts to get out of the tub. When he pulled out of her, it felt almost painful, to lose him like that, even though she knew she could get him again if she only asked. He was the first to get out of the tub and helped her emerge, too, wrapping her up in a big towel and pushing her off towards their bed. 

He wasn’t following her, though, in his gloriously naked form, still hard, doing anything but moving to the bed, and she nearly reached out to grab his hand, but his eyes made it clear that he would be there shortly, so she dried off properly before climbing into bed. She even covered herself with the sheets, telling herself not to fall asleep but not being very surprised when she found it hard to stay awake.

That was until he came into view with that small, permanent smile on his lips, and she was wide awake.

“I got us some water. You need to drink after that bath.”

He sat on the edge of the bed first, handing her a bottle of water, and she stared at him first before taking a sip, leaning up a little.

Eventually, he slipped in under the covers too, and she could see, just before the sheets covered him, that he was now semi-hard - dammit, this was him being sweet, and the only thing she could look at was his cock?

“If you want to continue what we started,” he started, his arms reaching out to hold her for whatever they were going to do next, whether it be another amazing round of lovemaking (still sounded just a little weird to think of such a meaningful word) or just sleep the night away, “you just say the word.”

“Which word?”

He rolled his eyes and looked at her, a bright smile on his face, but she wasn’t sure she knew what he was smiling about. She pulled him close with a hand in the back of his neck, and he took the hint quickly, kissing her deeply and at the same time rolling on top of her, keeping his weight on his elbows. She felt how he quickly nudged a pillow underneath her lower back.

“I want you, but I’m tired,” she whispered honestly, but not stopping in any way, kissing him again when his lips came close enough. He nodded and left her lips to kiss a trail down to that sensitive spot just behind her ear.

“That’s okay,” he reassured her. “You just lay back, I’ll do all the work.”

“You always do all the work.”

“Maybe. But you’re working hard enough as it is.”

“I’m unemployed,” she deadpanned.

One of his hands came up to rest on her belly, while his mouth definitely sucked a hickey into her skin. She gasped as it shot a flash of pleasure to her core, reigniting the fire.

“You’re growing our baby. It’s hard work.”

He wasn’t wrong, but she still wanted to counter him - after all, he was usually the one bringing her to multiple orgasms before finally giving in to his own without much help from her; he was the one who did most of the cleaning around their house; he was the one usually cooking for the two of them too.

But then she realized, the reason he did all these things - she was often too far gone in her pleasure to even be aware of where she was; their baby was not just swelling her belly, but everything was swollen and she hurt all over on a good day; and he was a far better cook than her, the fact confirmed by basically everybody they knew.

He didn’t test her wetness before he slid his cock inside in one movement, perhaps knowing her too well, knowing in moments like this, despite being sleepy, she wasn’t easily turned off. (And he knew she still liked rough and tested the limits from time to time. As long as it was safe.) His first thrust always sent pleasure to every crevice in her body, and her head fell back, arching up against him.

“God,” she heard him grunt, knowing he could rarely keep in these sounds when they had sex, knowing he was anything but quiet, and she loved it. He gave her some slow, shallow thrusts, perhaps trying to warm her up a little, but any more turned on and she would probably die.

“I’m close,” she whispered, looking at him when she was used to his size, one arm around his neck and the other reaching beside her to grab hold of the sheets. “Don’t stop.”

He smiled and her heart skipped a beat, and then he was picking up his pace, his face always close to hers to kiss and tease her and smile against her cheek, and it wasn’t long until she saw stars and she was holding onto him tightly as she came, pulling him with her over the edge, spilling inside her. He almost immediately fell to the side, her arms around him pulling her onto her side, too, whispering his love for her against the skin in her neck.

As she snuggled into him, his arms tightly around her, a pillow once again magically appearing underneath her belly, she quickly felt sleep surround her, despite her best efforts not to give in - she wanted to cherish him, she didn’t get enough time with him. But soon, her exhaustion was simply too big to remain awake, and she closed her eyes with a satisfied smile on her lips.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, brushing her hair out of her face. “I love you.”

Her world was right with him in it. He was showing her what it was like to be truly loved, to love, without the need for rough sex and multiple orgasms, although that was fun, too.

She was perfectly satisfied with being in his arms, touching every bit of naked skin she could reach, kiss him until she was breathless, and hear him whisper all kinds of loving words into her ear.

But sleep overtook her eventually before she managed to explore this new side to their love, the most important words still lingering on her lips.

“I love you.”

It had never been truer than it was in that moment.


	2. how good it feels to have you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Claire gives birth, but postpartum has hit her a bit harder than expected. She wants to love her body again, be open with herself and Neil, but she’s terrified. Neil worries he’s getting too old and wonders how he got so lucky marrying someone as magnificent as Claire. Domestic fluff where they talk out their insecurities and are finally able to love each other again after months. 
> 
> tw: mentions of traumatic pregnancy and postpartum depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title inspo
> 
> _How good it feels to have somebody to make conversations with_  
>  _How good it feels to have somebody to keep up relations with_  
>  _How good it feels to have a friend be together again_  
>  _How good it feels to have you_
> 
> _How Good It Feels by Lake Street Dive_
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3w-inOSBcY&ab_channel=LakeStreetDive-Topic

Their baby girl was only about three weeks old when Claire had dropped hints that she wished she could have more of an appetite for sex, and that thought lingered in the months following little Isabella’s birth. He always told her that she could take as long as she needed, not wanting to force her into anything. 

Honestly, he would have totally understood if she had never wanted to have sex after that traumatic birth. He wouldn't blame her at all.

But eventually, tension rose, as they felt more like roommates than lovers, and with some hormones still raging inside of her, Claire snapped about three months later.

It wasn't even about anything significant, he could hardly remember what it was about, but she pushed him and yelled at him while tears were trying to escape her eyes. It was apparent in that moment, as it had been many times before, that she was exhausted beyond belief and he was once again failing in his duties as her partner.

“Okay, take a deep breath-”

She pushed him again, swearing in her own mix of gibberish and English, and when the tears escaped her eyes, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, not taking her shit, knowing he should comfort her and finally doing so.

“My love,” he whispered, brushing her hair. “I've got you.”

“Why am I like this, Neil?”

“Like what?”

She shrugged and nestled closer to his chest, her arms around his middle a little tighter with each passing breath.

“You gave birth to a baby, Claire.”

“But it shouldn't mean that I don't pay attention to you anymore.”

“Your priorities shifted. I'll manage.”

She looked up at him and he laughed at her raised eyebrow.

“Neil?”

“Claire?”

“I want to try.”

“Try what?”

“To make love.”

“Okay.”

They looked at each other for a while, arms still holding on tightly, until Bella made herself known and Claire retreated, her tears dry on her cheeks, something akin to disappointment in her eyes.

“I'll call Park, he can babysit Bella.”

“But, I need to breastfeed her…”

“Just for the afternoon. He can drop her off tonight.”

“Neil…I…”

“You draw a hot bath. I'll take care of everything.”

There was more fight left within her but she gave in when she noticed he wouldn't give up. They kissed, his arm pulling her flush against him, before they parted to go their separate ways.

About half an hour later he found her in their tub, her head resting on the edge but he could still tell she wasn't quite relaxed.

“I'm so tired,” she whispered as he climbed into the tub, leaning against the opposite end and looking at her. God, he wanted to touch her, but he knew when to back off and this was one of those times. Even if she had brought up the idea of sex herself. He didn't want to make matters worse.

“I'm sorry,” she said, rubbing at her eyes and sitting up a little straighter.

“For what?”

“For being such an emotional mess.”

“Claire…” He looked at her, then settled for a different approach. “What can I do to make you feel better?”

She huffed and he moved closer.

“No, I'm serious. I can only do so much before I run out of ideas. So, tell me.”

She promptly climbed into his lap, reminding him briefly of that night, her very pregnant belly in between them, and just like then, she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Make me feel more than just breastfeeding and changing diapers.”

He didn't let her say that twice and placed a kiss in her neck.

“Stop me any time you want.”

While he had a lot of things on his mind that he could do with her, to her, his own words from weeks before reverberated in his head - this was not about him, this was not even about them. This was about her - he loved her, so much, and she was feeling bad about herself while he knew she was so much better than her insecurities were showing her. He could make her feel better, he knew that, and he would do so, if she only let him.

He kissed her, slow and gentle, and he realized (with shame) that they had not taken enough time to do this properly, not just making love but simply kissing, being close, hugging and touching - their little miracle had kept them up so much that whenever they were together, alone, they were in bed and out like a light. Especially Claire, who was still trying to heal from the birth and needed all the rest she could get. 

She was getting impatient, her hands pulling him closer, but he would take his sweet time, like he had always done before and he knew that it would drive her mad, but she was always satisfied afterwards. He wanted to see her smile, at least for a little bit, before she would ultimately fall asleep and finally rest properly for once.

“Neil,” she breathed, her hand in the back of his neck almost painfully. He silenced her by kissing her, as softly as he had before, running his hand through her damp hair. He would take this slow, let them get used to each other and their bodies again.

He ran a hand down her body, stroking all of her skin as much as he could, cherishing her - she had changed after their baby, that was to be expected. She hated the new her, but he found she was only more beautiful now. 

Now, she had scars showing the life she had carried.

When he ended up where she most wanted him, he found her wet but not wet enough. And that was unacceptable to him, she should feel as little pain as possible - she should enjoy this more than he was.

“Let's get you into bed,” he whispered, biting softly into her earlobe and smiling when he heard her gasp. She was getting more and more restless with the minute, her own hand lowering to his cock, but he skillfully swatted it away before getting out of the tub and offering her a hand. 

“Neil-”

“Come.”

She raised an eyebrow, her skin flushed, but she still came with him.

“I like bath sex,” she muttered after he had dried her off, kissing her when he was close enough, and not just her lips, and she shuffled off to their bedroom. He watched her walk away, then gathered everything he thought they would need, water bottles and some towels - you never knew.

He found her on the bed, somehow having found her phone after he had hidden it to preserve some calm in her mind. Her brow was furrowed, and he feared that everything he had been doing to her in the bath had been for nothing, her stress returning.

“Drop the phone,” he stated, watching her debating internally between scolding him back or laughing at him, but she dropped it eventually.

“I just wanted to check on Bella.”

He nodded, he understood, but he wouldn’t allow her to make her mind stray from anything other than them making love.

He pushed her onto her back and smiled when her eyes were already closed. He kissed her lips and brushed her hair out of her face.

“Just relax,” he whispered, as he kissed a path down her body, her breasts, her belly button, skipping her center and kissing down her legs, the hollow of her knees, her cute little toes. When he looked up at her, her head was thrown back and her hands were holding on to the sheets beside her. He came back up and kissed her lips, and her hands cradled his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I should give you more.”

He shook his head, kissing the skin between her breasts. “You’re already giving me more than enough.”

He kissed her swell of her belly first, where there were still traces of their dearest Bella’s occupancy, and he loved to see it, even though Claire hated it. He loved to see that this beautiful body had produced something so amazing, so pure and perfect, and he secretly hoped she would always carry some of the added weight. Even though, for her sake, he hoped she didn’t.

He slowly made his way down, his hands on her knees spreading her legs. He already saw his heart’s desire there, glistening, inviting, and his heart made several leaps inside his chest. She would always try and keep him from oral sex, claiming he wouldn’t like it as much as she did, but just as with her performing oral sex on him, both parties thoroughly enjoyed the act. Maybe he liked it even more than she did.

And he had missed this so much. He hadn't gone down on her in almost a year.

“Neil-“ But her words were cut off by her own moaning when he kissed her clit, his tongue coming out to lick a few circles around it, and he just had to smile. He loved her so much, every single inch of her, every personality trait, every kiss she gave him.

He licked and sucked like he was a man who had been starving to death, like he had been crawling through a desert and she was the much anticipated oasis. She tasted so good. He loved her so much.

He slowly raised her pleasure, mostly using his tongue and sometimes having his fingers join. One finger slipped inside her, he didn't want to push it too far by having multiple fingers thrust inside her immediately. He smiled thinking how in the beginning of their relationship, he'd had three fingers thrusting roughly inside her countless times, but that seemed unnecessary while he sucked gently on her clit. The single finger seemed enough for the moment. She loved the friction and he loved hearing her moans get louder and louder.

He looked up at her often, between her spread legs, the swell of her belly and her full breasts, and he loved to see her like this, on cloud nine it seemed, her skin flushed all over, her hands searching for something to hold onto, anything at all. He missed his longer hair at that moment - he would have loved to have her slender fingers pull on his scalp while he was eating her out.

He was suddenly very aware of what he looked like, ever since he had started this relationship with her. He wasn’t unattractive by any standard for his age range, and he knew that. But, Claire Browne was a dream - ethereal. Every inch of her was perfect, smooth skin, muscles trained like the first day he met her, and he was just…older. He was losing any shred of attractiveness every day - no matter how much he tried to slow it down. Losing his muscles and hair. Wrinkles popping up in all parts of his body. How could she still find him attractive?

She was pushing 40 but didn’t look a day over 28 while he could almost pass for getting Social Security benefits. Almost. 

But then he looked up at her, her face full of bliss, and he realized he might still have something going for him - he was good with his mouth and fingers. And that worked in her favor.

But still. He wasn't as good looking like her, he was losing the shape of his ass, he found a bald spot last week (and has been silently stressing over it...he may have bought 6 bottles of Rogaine), and he actually pulled a back muscle trying to find the remote last week. 

He was aging like the speed of light while she still looked like the fresh-faced resident he met ten years ago. 

And that’s not to mention the gash that ran down his chest from the earthquake. He’s come to peace with the mark, but it was always a not-so-gentle reminder to cherish what’s right in front of him, and right now that’s his wife begging him to make her feel whole again. 

Her hand gently swatted the top of his head and he frowned. Until he realized that he had stopped moving and it was driving her mad. He loved it only briefly before lowering himself quickly to her vulva again.

It wasn’t long until she was crying out, his name, their non-existent deities, anything. Her hands came down to hold onto his head, and he thrust his finger deep inside her, feeling her contract around it.

“Neil!” she pressed out, her voice considerably higher than it usually was. Her cheeks were red and he smiled against her flesh, still licking her as though she wasn't already in an intense orgasm.

His name had never sounded as good as when she said it, in whatever way possible. When she yelled it out in anger or frustration, when she whispered it in her quiet, sensitive moments, but especially when she moaned it, breathed it when he had made her come, when he was driving her so mad she just begged him to fuck her. It was less fucking now and more making love, but he still loved it when she told him to just skip the teasing and push inside her.

He drew out her orgasm for as long as he could, curling his finger so he could hit just the right spot inside her.

He knew, however, when she was too breathless to accept more pleasure and he shuffled up the bed, wrapping his arms around her and watching her recover from her orgasm.

She was smiling, and he was so relieved, she hadn’t smiled much in the past few weeks. Her hand came up to rest gently on his cheek and she closed her eyes in bliss.

“Damn,” she whispered. “I can’t believe it’s been that long.”

He chuckled and kissed her. “I love you.”

She sighed happily and kissed him, too. “I love you, too.”

Her hand reached down to once again grab his cock but he linked their hands and kissed the corner of her mouth instead. This was about her, not his cock.

“Now that I’ve warmed you up,” he teased, “are you ready for round two?”

She kissed him as a response, pushing him onto his back and laying over him, not quite covering him, only their chests crossed. It was him who pulled her on top of him completely, her legs straddling him. She gasped against his lips when his cock brushed past her flesh.

Their eyes met, and he saw lust there, passion, but also fear, and somehow he instantly knew what it was for. 

Bella's birth was, to put it in better terms, horrific, on her body. Claire needed third and fourth degree stitches and she hadn't been able to walk on her own for at least a week.

“Claire?”

She didn't respond and instead kissed him, but he stopped her.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Claire?”

“I have to.”

He frowned. “No you don't.”

She sat back and looked at him, her frustration from before returning. He wanted to reach for her and just hug her, he didn't want to do anything she wasn't ready for.

“Claire?”

She sighed and lay down beside him, turning her back towards him.

No. She wouldn't get to walk away this easily. They were married for God's sake. They should be able to talk about this.

He put a hand on her arm and looked at her over her shoulder. She pulled on the covers until they were buried under them and she remained silent for a long time.

His heart hurt at this sight before him. He wanted her to be happy, he wanted her to smile and laugh and kiss him and tell him she loved him. He felt like he had failed as a husband.

“I love you, you know,” he whispered, his hand still on her arm. But he gave her space if she wanted some.

“I'm so sorry,” she replied, and he heard the tears in her voice, and he gingerly wrapped an arm around her underneath hers, pulling her flush against him. He kissed her temple. “I don't know what is wrong with me.”

“Nothing is wrong with you, my love. You had a baby. I'm an asshole.”

She huffed and turned onto her back, looking at him. He brushed her cheek.

“You're not an asshole, Neil. If anyone is an asshole, it's me.”

He shook his head.

“I shouldn't have started about that second round. The first was more than enough.”

She chuckled and he looked at her. His heart warmed at the sight of her like this, this was the woman he had fallen in love with, his wife, the mother of his child. There was nothing about her that he couldn't love.

“Neil…” she whispered. “I know it will hurt. That's what's keeping me back. It has nothing to do with you.”

A flood of relief washed over him but they weren't out of the woods yet. He kissed her cheek and looked her in the eye again.

“We can work with that. I don't want to force you…but we've got time now.”

She was silent for a while and then looked at him again. She didn't say anything but kissed him instead, pushing him onto his back again and covering him.

“Wait. I have to get some things first. Don't go anywhere.” He kissed her and left the bed, rummaging through the bathroom cabinets and rushing back. She was just pushing the covers back down as he entered the room, and she looked at what he was holding.

Lube. And-

“Condoms?” she asked him, almost in a disappointed way. He smiled briefly and settled beside her again, kissing her first before getting to work.

“We need to get you lubed up. A condom will help.”

She was starting to understand what he was going to do and smiled, faintly, touching his arm.

“How could I ever think that you're an asshole when you do things like this?”

He didn't regard her comment and got the bottle of lube. He squirted some onto his fingers and as he lay down beside her, kissing her, he traced her pussy carefully.

“You weren't that careful with round one,” she muttered, still kissing him and putting one hand in the back of his neck. He rolled his eyes and added a bit more force, dipping one finger inside her. She kissed him again and that was where her words ended for a while, kissing him, looking at him, the corners of her lips twisting up.

He added a little more lube and then dipped a second finger inside. She gasped softly now, putting their foreheads together.

“How does this feel?” he asked her, thrusting inside her a little. She nodded and he picked up the pace slightly, kissing a corner of her mouth. His thumb came to rest on her clit, but he was careful not to add too much friction. She responded well, however, and he was feeling increasingly confident in her desire to take this further.

“Neil,” she gasped, and he already felt her orgasm approaching. “Now!”

He had planned for her to be on top but her demand came so suddenly, he barely had enough logic in his mind left to put on a condom before he settled between her spread legs and nudged her entrance with his length.

“We can stop any time you want,” he whispered, kissing her lips, but she was already far gone, her legs wrapping around his waist and her eyes closed in part concentration, part bliss. But her expression changed a little when he slid inside, pain, and he would have pulled back immediately if it weren't for her arms and legs keeping him in place. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her.

“Give me a minute,” she whispered, and he obeyed, giving her space and air while she accommodated to his size. When her hips moved and one of her hands held onto the back of his neck, he thrust inside her fully, but gently, not wanting to hurt her. He looked down to where they were joined, and he prayed to God that she was enjoying this too, and not just putting up a front for him. He really, really didn't want to hurt her.

Yet when he looked up at her face, he had his answer - her eyes were closed in bliss and a smile was pulling on her lips.

“I love you,” he whispered against her cheek, and her hands simply held onto him tighter, spurring him on.

He turned them around after a while, feeling her orgasm approach, and she smiled and kissed him before pushing up against his chest.

They hadn’t done this in a while. Now that he thought of it, she hadn’t been on top like this since they had found out she was pregnant. At first, they had shied away from sex altogether, and when they had picked it back up, her pregnant belly had seriously limited the positions they could have had sex in. Her back would be killing her, and so the only times she was on top was when they were taking a bath together, and she could lean comfortably against the edge of the tub.

But now here she was, in all her glory and beauty, and it turned him on even more. She loved it when he took control, but he absolutely lived for it when she did, he loved seeing this powerful, beautiful, strong woman give herself completely to him in this way, while it could have so easily been the opposite. 

She had chosen him. She had fallen in love with him. And here she was, straddling his hips, his cock deep inside her and her skin flushed all over - she was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

She threw her head back and briefly curled her fingers into his hair, before moving, slow and gentle. She searched for his hands and he held her tightly, before she lowered one to where they were joined. _My God_. What a turn on it was to feel him slide inside her like this, his fingers brushing against her clitoris, and she faltered slightly at that touch. She liked that. He did it again, and her mouth fell open into a perfect ‘o’.

All of this was his. The dark hair that tickled his skin so pleasantly when they cuddled, the hooded eyes that had once been so ice cold but were now showing what happy things were going on inside her, the full, beautiful breasts that he could finally suck into his mouth. For extra measure, he leaned up and did just that, just a little surprised when he drew some milk. He understood why Bella spent so much time here.

He looked up at her and their eyes met.

“Did you just…” He feared she would want to stop now, that was wrong of him and he should have known. She was still breastfeeding their baby so of course he would draw some milk when he sucked on her niples. But just as he was about to retreat, she laughed. “I can’t believe you just did that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No. Nope. Nothing to be sorry for.” She kissed him and put their foreheads together. “You can do it again if you want.”

He stared at her for a moment before smiling at her and sucking the other nipple into his mouth. Just for a taste. He was just curious. Bella wouldn’t just spend most of her days sucking Claire’s breasts if it wasn’t at least a little tasty, right? It really was. But, at the same time, he felt he was stealing Bella’s food supply and stopped, although his hands still cupped her breasts and teased around the nipples. Admittedly, it was a little weird, even if he was happy he had gotten the opportunity to do this.

She rocked in his lap and reignited the flames. And all he wanted was to kiss her and have his arms wrapped around her tightly and rock her into orgasm. So he did that last one - he lowered himself back onto the bed and thrust upwards, watching her slip quickly into pleasure again, and after two handfuls of thrusts, she was contracting all around him and slumped against his chest, panting. He wanted to hold out but she was still coming, and he just let pleasure take over, until they lay as one united pile of limbs and flesh.

He turned so she came to lie on her side and made sure she was supported in all the right ways. He ditched the condom and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

She was smiling at him brightly, sweat on her forehead.

“You sucked my breasts,” she whispered, amusement in her voice. He nodded and brushed her damp hair out of her face and behind her ears.

“I kind of forgot that you’re breastfeeding,” he added, feeling like an idiot, and she just giggled. “It was the heat of the moment. I guess I just missed kissing your breasts.”

“You liked it?”

“It was… kind of nice. But weird. I felt like I was invading Bella’s private space. Even though it was mine before it was hers.” He shook his head. He was rambling again. “I don’t think I’ll be doing it again anytime soon, not until Bella has stopped breastfeeding.”

She just smiled and brushed the sides of his face.

“I can’t wait.”

He grinned and kissed her deeply, his hands on her skin pulling her closer to him.

“What did you think about that made you stop?” she asked him suddenly. He frowned.

“What?”

“When you were eating me out.” She didn't even blush when she said it. “You stopped.”

It was silly now, wasn't it? Of course she loved him. He didn't know what drove her to do that but she did.

“I'm old.”

She smiled faintly and brushed the top of his head. “I've noticed.”

“My hair’s thinning.”

She rolled her eyes and kissed the corner of his mouth. He didn't miss her hand running through his hair. “I guess so.”

“Why do you love me, Claire?”

Her smile dropped a little but her hands remained on him. She was quiet for a moment before continuing.

“I just do, Neil. I know you think you're not worthy of me. But you so are. Honestly, I’m not worthy of you. You've helped me through so much shit. You did it all as my friend, my confidant, my cheerleader. And then one night you told me I deserved to be happy and I knew I loved you. Not just as my friend, but…I was in love with you. I still am, I guess. Although…being in love fades after a while, you know? But loving someone, that shit's forever.”

He stared at her for a while and she was getting a little uncomfortable under his look. He knew her.

“I think you're absolutely beautiful,” she whispered. “You're perfect to me. And I don't just say that so you get in my panties. I look at you and I wonder how it is possible that you love me. That you're willing to love me looking like this, and after...well, everything we’ve been through.”

He nodded frantically when she paused and she smiled. He brushed a hand through her hair.

“And you're the father of my child. That seals the deal.”

“I love you,” he whispered, caressing her cheek when they parted for air.

“I love you, too.”

He was trying to tell his cock not to do anything, to keep this moment pure and decent, but Claire just giggled as it grew slightly against her leg anyway - her giggles made it swell considerably which just embarrassed him much to her amusement. He was rendered mostly breathless, he didn't have the stamina anymore to do this three times in a row but his erection was sure telling a different story.

“I'm an old man now, Claire.” He pouted. Still acted like a damn child though, Claire thought. 

“Boohoo. Your cock is showing something else.” She successfully grabbed his length, something he had been preventing all afternoon, and he saw stars for a moment.

“Round three?” she teased. She rolled onto her back and made him lie on top of her, her strong legs keeping him close. She reached for his cock and lined it up with her pussy - he protested, he wasn't wearing a condom, he wanted to warm her up properly, he didn't want her to hurt, but her hips lifted and he slid inside her, causing them both to groan.

“I love you,” she breathed.

He took it slow, his favorite way of making love now, not set out for a quick release but rather to take his time, look at Claire properly, being able to kiss her when he wanted and brush her naked skin when he thrust inside her.

“You're so beautiful,” he whispered, his forehead against hers. She sighed and a smile pulled on her lips but her eyes remained closed. She was putty underneath him and he loved her little smiles and sighs and the way her hand reached up and touched his cheek without her having to look, like she had an internal radar as to where he was.

And then suddenly, she had reached the edge of the world and was about to fall off - her eyes opened and they focused on him, almost questioning him, and he knew what they were asking.

“I've got you. I promise.”

Her eyes rolled back and so did her head, and she came so wonderfully Neil just wanted to take a picture of this view and frame it. His name was on her lips. And as her orgasm faded away, his thrusts still rocking her body, she was basically already half-asleep. He smiled, let go and came inside her, seeing her try to support him like he had supported her. But she was sleepy and that was okay and he let her fall asleep slowly, his kisses on her gorgeous lips pulling a soft smile. 

All-in-all, not such a failed afternoon.

**Author's Note:**

> This was such an interesting aspect to write and I'm glad it was requested! David Shore may have robbed us of a happy ending where Neil finally gets to be a dad, but I sure as hell would never do that. 
> 
> As always, if you have any more requests please feel free to let me know!


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